Top 10 goofy headlines we can use for The Weather Channel's winter storm names

SEATTLE (KOMO) - For the past five years, the folks over at the Weather Channel have taken it upon themselves to give names to winter storms as a way to better communicate a storm's impact, much like how the World Meteorological Organization gives names to hurricanes and tropical storms.

Some of their names are pretty standard; most are a bit offbeat.

The company just announced Tuesday its list for this upcoming winter season:

Of course, with some of these names, it can make for unusual headlines. As someone who writes headlines as part of my job, I figured,just like last year, I could give out a few that I would certainly write, if only I could get away with them ...

So, channeling my inner David Letterman, I present:

The Top 10 Rejected Headlines Using Weather Channel Winter Storm Names:

10) Airline travelers stranded as Jupiter cancels red-eye flights
9) Winter Storm Ursa major bear for freeway travel
8) Commute snarled as Stella buries desired street cars in snow
7) Quid pounds much of New England
6) Maya leaves city streets in ruins
5) City officials blanche as Blanche brings 2 feet of snow
4) Pluto dwarfs snowfall estimates in New England, still fails to reach major storm criteria
3) Tulsa residents gamble Wyatt will miss OK, corral warmer air instead
2) As low center collapses, forecasters struggle to find Decima point

And the No. 1 Rejected Weather Channel Winter Storm Headline:

1) Portland, Bangor wake to winter 'Wonder'land as Valerie calls on ME