Review: Brash 'The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard' is exactly what fans thought they wanted

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard
2 out of 5 Stars
Director: Patrick Hughes
Writer: Tom O'Connor, Brandon Murphy, Phillip Murphy
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Salma Hayek, Samuel L. Jackson, Morgan Freeman, Frank Grillo
Genre: Action, Comedy
Rated: R for strong bloody violence throughout, pervasive language, and some sexual content

SALT LAKE CITY (KUTV) —Synopsis: A misunderstood conversation brings (unlicensed) bodyguard Michael Bryce back in contact with hitman Darius Kincaid.

Review: 2017’s “The Hitman’s Bodyguard” wasn’t exactly a film begging for a sequel. Tom O’Connor’s script was originally an action/drama that was quickly retooled to be an action/comedy when Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson were cast. It worked well enough for audiences to make the film a success at the box office where it earned $176 million against a $30-million budget. Critics, myself included, were incredibly indifferent to the film. However, audiences and critics agreed that the best part of the film was Salma Hayek’s crazed performance as con Sonia Kincaid, wife of Jackson’s character Darius Kincaid.

We asked the Universe, “Why can’t we have more of Salma Hayek?”

In response, the Universe has given us “The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard.” It’s essentially “The Hitman’s Bodyguard” with more Salma Hayek. Apparently, the Universe didn’t realize we were being rhetorical.

So, here we are in 2021 watching a film that I’m not sure anyone really wanted. It’s the same jokes in a buddy cop movie where none of the characters are actually cops. Well, there is Frank Grillo’s corrupt Interpol agent who really just wants to go home at any cost. I know the feeling.

Are we really supposed to care if Reynold’s Michael Bryce is licensed as a bodyguard? It’s not like writer Tom O'Connor established an elaborate or unique world of bodyguards. It’s all riffing, scene stealing and scenery chewing. There’s no real chemistry between the actors. Reynolds, Jackson and Hayek simply get louder and increasingly vulgar as the plot gives them little to do between action sequences.

I didn’t hate “The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard,” it was exactly what I expected it to be. Sure, I didn’t expect to lose interest in Hayek’s character immediately around the first time Sonia asks if Bryce thinks she’d be a good mother, but I never expected anything more than a middling satire with little or no bite. A mediocre sequel to an already uninspired franchise.

Be careful of what you ask for.